Becoming Whole

The definition of wholeness: Our understanding of “whole” comes through the old Germanic and Norse languages: hal, haila, which give the sense of entire, unhurt, uninjured, safe; healthy, sound; genuine, straightforward, undamaged, complete. 

 Katalina Amari Lynne Hogue came into this world on June 7th, 2018.  From the moment I first held my precious granddaughter in my arms, I knew she was perfect.  Ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, mouth and cute little nose, healthy and complete in every way. I also knew from that moment that I wanted to do everything I could for her, to help her have a life that is meaningful, and full of love. I wanted to guide her on her journey to being herself, knowing herself and becoming her whole authentic self. 

“Sing out praises for the journey, pilgrims, we, who carry on,
searchers in the soul’s deep yearnings, like our forebears in their time.
We seek out the spirit’s wholeness in the endless human quest.” – STLT #295

My daughter calls me often with reports of Amari’s development, asking me if this or that thing is “normal” for Amari to be doing or not doing; and should she intervene in some way to help her along. My answer is usually “No”.  Let her learn on her own. She will figure it out. Let her do it in her own way and in her own time. I tell my daughter a story about a butterfly:

One day while walking through his garden, a man stopped to admire a chrysalis hanging delicately from a branch. Enchanted, the man watched for hours as the butterfly struggled to free itself from its confinement through the small opening in the chrysalis. Then suddenly the butterfly stopped, appearing to have gone as far as it could go. The man, feeling sorry for it, decided to help the butterfly, and with a small knife he gently slit open the chrysalis allowing the butterfly to emerge easily.

The butterfly broke free, only to fall over in a completely motionless state in his hand. Its tiny swollen body and shriveled wings withered and deformed. The man continued to watch expectantly, waiting for the moment the wings would unfurl, expand and enlarge enough to support the still limp body, enabling the butterfly to get up; but he waited in vain. Instead the butterfly spent the remainder of its short existence crawling awkwardly, dragging its fragile body and shriveled wings; never able to fly.

The man in his kindness, goodwill and haste failed to understand the restrictive chrysalis. The struggle required for the butterfly to get through the small opening is nature’s way of forcing the fluid from the swollen body into its wings. So that the wings can then unfold and enable the butterfly to fly. – Author Unknown

“Parents, ministers and RE teachers can give children a safe place to learn; tools, such as books and art supplies and music. We can show you how adults worship, sing, and celebrate together in faith. We can help you know when your actions are faithful ones, for goodness and justice. We can take you on field trips and tell you stories. But no one can give you wisdom or faith or spiritual growth. These things can only grow from within. People learn by experiencing the world for themselves — by feeling their own feelings, and by seeing and touching and doing.” – Sophia Fahs 

I tell my daughter that as long as she is there watching, supporting, and encouraging Amari then she already has everything she needs to “become”. “But Mom, I just hate seeing her struggle!” she says. But I remind her that we all need struggles in our lives. Experiences of pain, heartache, loss and making mistakes are all a part of life that we go through so that we can become who we are. No matter what, I will always tell Amari, “It is a blessing that you were born and it matters that you are in the world. You are perfect!”

It is my wish that you know this too. We are all becoming! Let us help one another become our best selves through words of encouragement, gifts of acceptance, love and friendship. I am grateful we are in community together.

May you be filled with loving kindness,
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be whole.


Opportunities for Wholeness:

Our Whole Lives (OWL) Sexuality Education for Adults of all Ages and Stages – ages 18 – 98 Join with other adults to fully consider this vital aspect of being a whole person.  O.W.L. is fun and engaging too… we promise! When:  Four Saturday sessions: April 6 & 27, May 11, June 1 (Forbes Hall), Followed by five sessions in the fall. Sign up at the RE Table or email

Schedule a Conversation and Tea with the DRE- Come tell me how your family is doing. What is going on in your lives? What is your vision for the church and the RE Program? What can I do for you? Contact me to set up a time to meet after church. (Bring the kids!)

Camp de Benneville Pines 2019 UU Family Summer Camp Circle of Life –2019 UU Family Summer Camp will be from Sunday, July 28 to Saturday, August 3, 2019 

Family camp provides families a place to enjoy one another—to share and care. It also provides an atmosphere of warmth and friendship—to share and care about others outside of one’s immediate family. Together, and in community, explore Unitarian Universalist values, worship together, play together and commune. This summer sing and dance and generally just have a blast. Through creative workshops, arts and crafts, groovy tie dye, capture the flag, games, a walk to the fairy forest, archery and so much more, families will celebrate together the circle of life! Go to: to register

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